2004-04-25 - 2:33 a.m.
So how come if a girl decides she doesn't want children,she's selfish? Has a man ever been called selfish for saying he doesn't want children. Still being called selfish after suggesting adoption is just foolish. Saying that you want your "own" child...that's selfish.
I shouldn't even have to think about this. I'm only 21. Then again,most everyone I know has had a baby at 18.I know I shouldn't compare but I shouldn't have to be forced to think a certain way. I don't want to worry about it. I know this isn't the end. I know it will keep coming up.I'm in a strange mood. I was hoping to go out tonight but of course that was a bust. I am slowly becoming the way I'd hope. Just a little more time & I'll be there completely.
I want all new memories. I can't decipher the good from the bad anymore so I just want to start all over. I wish that were possible. I know it isn't. I was doing pretty good for awhile though. I couldn't rememeber much of anything. I think maybe I should start smoking the reefer. That way I wouldn't be able to remember shit.But I don't like getting high really. I haven't seen the movie but "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind" well that seems like the right idea.Except it wouldn't be just one person's memories it'd be a collection. I wouldn't erase EVERYTHING. However,a lot wouldn't be spared.
This is getting me excited for no reason. There is no way to erase bad memories. No way possible. That saddens me a little.
Eternal sunshine just sounds so nice.
One Love.
