2004-10-03 - 4:34 p.m.
I got smashed on wine last night. I had a few nightmares. I have developed a new crush on Bijou Phillips. She'll never take Christina's place though. I keep thinking about what I am going to do for Halloween. I think I am going to Champaign. I have about three options. I think I'd like to see my friend Brian though. We may have a good time.
I spent time with my Gay brother this weekend. He is now skinny,beautiful & fabulous. Of course the anorexic deep inside me is green with envy. It's ok. I'll use him as "thinspiration". I learned a lot of things about Brooke from him. I don't know what to do with this information.Nothin really. Life will continue. So Anthony & I had a heart to heart last night. He is so needy & clingy. I thought I had an escape last night. No go. Some Aaron kid blew me off. that's ok. I kinda liked it. It made me feel like I was 17 again & that was an awesome year for me. Quincy & myself stayed up until 5 in the morning talking & analyzing our "relationships".
I believe Quincy & myself are a dynamic & we should get over all the weary,dreary bullshit & go full steam ahead. He could become my new partner in crime if only he'd get over being hurt. I'm past hurt & angry..I wanna live. Live until I die that is.
No Aaron's,No Anthony's,no Brooke's,no Daniel's,no Natalie's,no Terry's,no Anyone is going to keep me from that. No one. I know things have the potential to be shitty. If I give up though,all I'll know is shit.
Oh yea,Austin called me. He's silly.
One Love.
P.s."Until my number's up..I'm gonna fill my cup. I'm gonna live,live,live,live,live....'til I die."
