2004-10-11 - 9:55 p.m.
I spent Friday & Saturday night going to different Chicago bars. I joked with the girls in town from Ohio about it being geriactrics night & all these older men hitting on us. Nice Ego booster though. On Saturday night(or morning I should say) we went to Crobar. Quincy & I joked about Chicago hipsters. Who aren't really hipsters at all. I got a lot of looks.
Some free drinks, Maybe a few potential suitors? Not really. I do enjoy foriegn men though. They are easy with their money & compliments. I was over hating myself & thinking I am fat & unattractive. It's all upstairs. For what it's worth I am pretty cute when I want to be.
Saturday afternoon Anthony took me out for sushi. He is in love with me. I am in love with myself so it just wouldn't work out. Quincy & I are closer. I wish he could find a nice girl. He needs a more open mind though to find a girl to suit him. My friends kinda saw my
slight infatuation with the seedy. The under..whatever. I tell Anthony a lot. Not a lot that mattered. I use him & I don't even feel bad about it. After being blown off last weekend,this weekend just fixed everything. Even if I didn't have this weekend I thnk I could still like me. Kinda atleast. Sometimes I'm so jaded. I hate it. it works for me though.
I'm still bored though. I always wake up wishing there were more to look forward to. What though? I don't want anything. Except one thing. I only want one thing. I don't think I am going to get it this time.
One Love.
