2008-02-21 - 5:04 p.m.
So,I haven't written in here in awhile I was reading someone else's blog that I was inspired to come back to this place. Then I thought how much I miss this.
It was here where I could divulge any little secret. It was here,I would relentlessly search for meaning in the things that I felt about myself and others. Diaryland has created a place of security for me. I tried blogging on Myspace for awhile. I couldn't do it though. It felt too forced. I like the anonymity here. On Myspace I felt compelled not to offend anyone. You know, I am a little pissed at myself for living my life in hiding.
I have done so much growing up in the past 6 months I am astonished at myself. There are definitely some things that I need to work on. Maybe not. The older I get the more I am beginning to accept myself. I have spent so many years thinking something was wrong with me because I was basing what I thought of myself on other people's ideals. I never took the time out to form my own. That seems as though that is some quarter life cliche ,but it is the honest to God's truth. I should definitely pursue writing. I may have to change my diet so I can learn to concentrate. my thoughts have the tendency to lump themselves together.
The one thing I am going to have to learn to live with though is that fact that I have wasted so much time. Also, melancholy makes me creative plain & simple. I can not be pensive or introspective when I am happy & those are the things that get my creative juices flowing. So,I have taken upon myself to venture out & find a muse. A real one this time. Not some fake asshole loser who didn't have the balls to pursue what he wanted from life. None of that. NO MORE FUCKING BORING YUPPIE WHITE GUYS! Shit. What the hell happened to Chicago? I'll save that rant for some other day though. Today I just want to bask in the awesomeness that is Diaryland. Yayy!!!
One Love.
P.S. I seriously have an issue with respecting men. I'm not bitter. Just,you know, smart.
